With everyone’s favorite Alaskan wingnut, Sarah Palin (sorry, Jewel), quitting to win last Friday, there was even more incentive to shoot off fireworks this weekend. For those jubilant about her stammering, rambling, breathless withdrawal from her “lame duck” position as Governor of Alaska (although, how any first-term governor can be called a lame duck is beyond me. she’s barely been there two years, for crying out loud!), each Black Cat had more pop, every firecracker had more zing and regular old roman candles played out more like-

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uOJNk6elavI[/youtube]

But for those Palin supporters out there, the weekend was one of bewilderment. How is she going to help government by not being in government? Is it too soon to start plastering Palin 2012 bumper stickers everywhere? How exactly does a point guard help their team win by passing the ball if they left the game after halftime? Was her resignation speech written by a 5th grader? They probably spent most of the 4th sitting solemnly in a lawn chair, six-pack in one hand, sparkler in the other.

Just when we thought that the fireworks had settled down and it was time to wait for the rogue charge to go off in a week or two in the form of a(n) indictment/corruption charge/federal investigation/pregnancy/trip to insane asylum/sex tape, she shot off a few more bottle rockets in the direction of the very institution that we here at Sod just happen to be a part of, the blogosphere.

Starting with an ominous Tweet (if 140 characters uttered by Sarah Palin can be considered ominous) about possibly suing certain bloggers, Democratic operatives and left-wing media for defamation over all of the conjecture and speculation over why the hell a popular governor and rising political star for the GOP resigned in the middle of her first term as governor, she opened the floodgates of frivolous lawsuits. For someone who spent so much time during her stint as John McCain’s VP attacking Barack Obama and Joe Biden, mostly frivolously, Sarah certainly appears to have thin skin when it comes to even bloggers speculating as to why she quit her job. Which is rather strange, considering-

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gA15XU23kEc[/youtube]

The letter from her attorney notably singled out blogger and radio host Shannyn Moore as one of the main culprits spreading rumors as facts. Aside from not being true, this is certainly a landmark moment for bloggers. To be sued for doing exactly what blogging is mainly used for; spreading entertaining and/or malicious untruths and half-truths about themselves/their neighbors/their friends/anyone who happens to cross their path, certainly is a stretch.

Of course, the rumors that Ms. Moore is supposedly touting as fact (which is odd since, when she mentioned the rumor, she referred to it TWICE as a “rumor”) are pretty plausible. Let’s do a quick review of the situation, shall we? A construction company was hired by Palin when she was the mayor of Wasilla to build a $12.5 million sports complex. At the same time, that same construction company supplied the materials for the Palin’s new, lavish lakeside home, even going so far as to file a notice for right to assert a lein on the Palin’s property. A few months later, once Palin assumed the governorship, this same company started getting statewide contracts.

Hey, wait a minute, that does sound pretty sketchy…maybe that blogger is on to something.

All of this hubbub has put a formerly semi-famous blogger and radio host on the map in the matter of a few days. That got me to thinking; I like attention, maybe I should get me some of the same attention that Shannyn Moore is getting.

So, here are:

Sod’s Top Ten Completely Untrue Sarah Palin Rumors

10. The real reason that Sarah is threatening to sue Shannyn Moore is because Moore refuses to call snowmobiles “snow machines.”

9. Sarah Palin’s favorite ice cream flavor is Wild Alaskan Salmon and Endangered Wolf Swirl

8. Sarah Palin’s guilty pleasure reading list includes Al Franken’s books and Maureen Dowd’s columns.

7. Makes her husband, Todd, role play where he dresses up like Bugs Bunny and she dresses up like Elmer Fudd.

6. The real reason she resigned her governorship was to concentrate on her career as a pageant flautist.

5. Couldn’t go on now that Michael Jackson has died.

4. Sarah has been the one palling around with terrorists.

3. She is dedicating her life to hunting and killing the endangered David Letterman.

2. Sarah Palin is being investigated for her part in the murder of Billy Mays

1. Sarah Palin uses the American Flag as a sweat towel when she’s done with a hard run (photographic proof!)

Hopefully, this will be enough to bring threat of a lawsuit to our door. Then, comes the fame. After fame comes the money. Then the power. Then the women.

Actually, we’ll just be happy if it gets us noticed at all. Then again, the way that things are going, it’ll probably be easier to count which bloggers aren’t being sued by Sarah Palin.