After Tuesday’s thrashing in Wisconsin and Hawaii, some might be wondering what Hillary Clinton’s plans are now for how she can possibly still win the Democratic nomination for President. Me, I don’t have any idea, but I do know what her plan was from three weeks ago.

The Clinton camp hopes to stop the Obama bandwagon by winning Texas and Ohio primaries on March 4, after which Mrs Clinton is planning to call on party grandees including Nancy Pelosi, Speaker of the House of Representatives and Harry Reid, the party’s leader in the Senate, to persuade Mr Obama to stand down.

Yeah. So basically, after Obama winning ten states in a row decisively, Hillary’s plan was to squeak out two wins and then demand that the party heads make Obama quit. That’s some fine thinking there.

Now that we’ve returned to reality, it is time to consider some actual options for Hillary Clinton.

1. Drop out now.
2. Wait for Texas and Ohio to vote in two weeks. Lose one or both. Drop out then.
3. Wait for Texas and Ohio to vote in two weeks. Win both. Win Pennsylvania. Win all the other states. Take a substantial pledged delegate lead into the convention. Have superdelegates back her unanimously. Have Florida and Michigan votes counted. Win Democratic nomination. Win Presidency. Celebrate with martinis.
4. Hang on through rest of campaign. Win a few. Lose most. For the entire duration, conduct a scorched earth campaign against Barack Obama, driving up his negatives. Lose the nomination at the convention and leave Obama battered and bruised with only three months left to campaign nationally, making it that much easier for John McCain to swoop in and snatch victory from the jaws of defeat.

Now, personally, I like both options one and two. Option three is a trick answer, being that it’s a complete and utter fairy tale. And option four is, unfortunately, probably what’s going to happen.

Let’s face facts. Barack Obama is the Democratic nominee for President. The odds of Hillary Clinton coming from behind and winning this thing are slightly on par with me growing duck wings out of my back and flying to the moon – There’s a slight chance of it happening, but I sure as hell wouldn’t put any money down on it. So the only role that Hillary Clinton has left to play is surrogate for John McCain. She can continue campaigning like she did in Wisconsin – goading him into debates, accusing him of being all words, bringing up bullshit charges of plagiarism, turning Michelle Obama into a pariah over a poorly-worded sentiment, blah, blah, blah. Will any of that help Hillary Clinton become President? Not a chance. But it sure does stand a decent shot of making John McCain President.

At this point, Hillary Clinton can either pull the greatest political comeback of all time, bow out with some amount of dignity still intact, or go down kicking and screaming, dragging her party and her followers down with her. For everyone’s sake, I sure as hell hope she doesn’t go with option C.