Rather than create in-depth hlogs (hate+blogs) for each of my grievances, I’m taking the lazy route and summing them all up in one megalithic post. Enjoy.

1. Religious Flair*: Look, its fine that you need religion to cope with the fact that there are some things in this universe that can’t be explained, or that you’re worm food when you die, but please keep your wacky superstitions to yourself. I’m sure your imaginary friend Jesus is tickled that you’ve decided to put his name and/or image on the ass-end of your car, announcing to the rest of the world that you went against the grain and ‘decided’ to be a Christian. Jog on, wanker.
   
   *Including religious propaganda of all shapes and sizes (like those stupid little Jesus fish.)




2. The American Government: Cliché, I know, but jesus-tap-dancing-christ is this nation in the shitter. Gas prices, foreign affairs, Iraq, a dipshit President, the economy, Sean Hannity… Where does it all start? The obvious answer is President Dipshit, but I think the real blame rests on the shoulders of all Americans. This country is one big puppet show: politicians are the puppet with the hand of big corporations up their collective ass, and the general public is the audience. As with real-life puppet shows, if there is no audience and someone kills the puppet master, there is no show. Demand lobbying reform, boycott the corporations that push their agendas through campaign contributions, and egg the houses of those elected officials that act in the interest of their wallet rather than the American people. Oh, and enlighten the uninformed rednecks in your neighborhood with a kick to the teeth and a Ralph Nader brochure.




3. Rednecks: Not all country folk piss me off, just a large majority of them. Here’s why:
   
   
   • NASCAR – Seriously? Cars driving in the same circle a few hundred times is entertaining? So I suppose after the race, you and your 10 kids go home to the trailer court, crack open a Bud and watch the paint dry on your mom/cousin’s one remaining toenail… Sounds like the perfect day.
   • Blue Collar Comedy – It’s cool to be ignorant, so let’s get a bunch of ‘comedic’ hicks together and place bets on which one (if any) refers to a book that does not involve boobs or auto mechanics. Bonus points if one refers to the ‘internet.’
   • Big Rigs – (aka ginormous trucks) Overcompensating for something?

   • “Fear This” and those “Calvin peeing on various objects” window decals – Congrats! You figured out the basic mechanics of the sticker and have used that gift to give the rest of us fair warning that you are mildly retarded.

   • Country Music – That’s a funny name for a tree…
   • Mullets – Well, that one’s kind of entertaining.
   • Ignorance – These yokels are huge contributors to items 1 and 2 of this post.




4. Tomatoes: See ‘Tomatoes – the Red Menace’




5. Right-Wing Broadcasters: You know these fascists were the kind of kids that couldn’t get laughs unless they took their pants off, so now they spread hate and fear to feed their frail egos and push their narrow-minded agendas. The only thing worse than these hypocrites are the people that lap it up (see #1 and #3 of this post.) For more information on why these ass-monkeys boil my broccoli, search ‘fox news’ on this site.

That about does it; I’m a bit surprised that there are only 5 things that piss me off. I’m sure there’s more, but maybe it’s time to open the floor: what pisses you off?