So, the long-awaited Axl Rose album (it’s not G’n'R without Slash and Duff and you all know it), Chinese Democracy is out. People, important people, have weighed in on it. In general, the reviews aren’t glowing, but aren’t terrible. It’s a passable album, by the standards of the public. But, honestly, who cares?
Do you still sit around your house, awaiting the return to fashion of Zubaz and hockey hair? Do you pine to be able to refer to an occurrence as “gnarly” or “tubular” without a sarcastic tone? Do you really want to return to a world where women tease their hair, have gigantic rolling bangs and reek of Aquanet from five feet away? Do you miss your burgeoning coke problem and constantly refer to the advent of grunge as “the day the music died?”
The answer, if you’re any reasonably-adjusted individual is; of course not. No one wants to don their favorite Hypercolor shirt, slip into a pair of leather pants and grab a Crystal Pepsi. That time is over, and thank god it is, because it was awful.
To be fair, Guns and Roses was, for a lightning flash, a beacon of hope in a sea of Ratts and Poisons and Skid Rows and Whitesnakes. But all of that ended with the Use Your Illusion albums. No one cared about The Spaghetti Incident? and no one really seemed to care all that much about the next G’n'R album until it started getting release dates that it consistently never met. That was nine years ago. I remember because I worked for a radio station and we’d get industry magazines listing upcoming releases. We’d watch as Chinese Democracy was delayed and delayed and delayed, and guess what? After awhile, we simply stopped caring, because something better inevitably came along to divert our attention.
Chinese Democracy is a bloated vanity project that has little to no place in our current music sphere. It’s the last of it’s kind, lonely as it wanders the earth, looking for comraderie and a mate that it will never find. Big studio albums are a dead art. If anything should pound that point home, it’s the millions of dollars (reportedly over $20 million) that it cost to make this album and the 15 years that it took to bring to fruition. The label will never recoup it’s investment in the album through sales and might not even do it through touring, as Axl has historically been a nightmare on tour, with cancellations and near-riots to his credit.
So I say let the past be the past. Move on. If you want to hear a great new album, buy something from an artist that’s still relevant, not one who quashed a possible Replacements reunion (Tommy Stinson, the bassist for The ‘Mats, was the studio bassist for most of Chinese Democracy, Axl wouldn’t let him have time off to do a tour and small recording session with former frontman, Paul Westerberg…therefore, Axl’s a jackass). Find new and upcoming artists, find a local band to satiate your desire for music. There’s plenty of both out there.
If it’s rock you want, check out a band like The Constantines. Or The Gaslight Anthem. Or the Young Sportsmen. Or any number of upcoming bands. As a matter of fact, if you have no idea where to start, tune in when Chris, Kelly and I count down each of our Top Ten Albums of the Year in two weeks, right here on Sodblog!
