When my sleep-strained eyes first read on Friday morning that President Barack Obama had won the Nobel Peace Prize for some reason or another, I knew that every day following that monumental occasion was surely going to be hilarious. And it by no means disappointed. For an award centered around the concept of peace and understanding, it sure does seem to be causing an awful lot of people to straight up lose their shit. So let’s review who’s most pissed off by Nobel Prize Laureate Barack Obama:

George W. Bush: I can’t imagine it’s easy being George W. Bush. As a person, you have to hope by now he’s built up some sort of immunity to being kicked in the face. Because it’s been happening to him continuously for quite a while now. His entire political party spent the last two elections publicly distancing themselves from him. When he left office, there were no flowery tributes or lavish sendoffs. And now he’s in Dallas, retired, and nobody seems to give a shit. But this one had to hurt. Read the explanation for why Obama received the Nobel and it basically interprets as:

“We, the Nobel Prize Committee, hereby award the Nobel Peace Prize to Barack Obama because, holy shit, did you see that crazy stupid asshole he replaced? Wow, did we ever hate that guy.”

So there’s another feather in the cap for ol’ Dubya. Right next to getting the first black man elected President, now he managed to win someone else a Nobel Prize on the basis that they weren’t him. What a credit to society.

Bill Clinton: There are now three living Democratic Presidents on this planet, and two-thirds of them are Nobel Prize winners. So that’s the new thing that’ll be slowly picking away at Bubba’s soul. It’s like Barack Obama was put on this Earth just to piss off the Clintons.

Rush Limbaugh: If you happened to listen to Rushbo on his radio show on Friday, you’ll know it was a good thing he lost all that weight thanks to the Pig AIDS, because if not, he’d have had eight coronaries. And who can blame him? Here it was, Rush’s big day when they were all set to announce him as a judge for this year’s Miss Universe pageant, and what happens? The guy he couldn’t stop from getting elected figures out the one possible thing more prestigious than being a Miss America pageant judge and does it. Is there anyone who’s been more persecuted on the face of the planet ever than Rush Limbaugh? Probably not.

Glenn Beck: If you thought this guy was a borderline delusional, narcissistic, craven, cowardly, weak, pathetic, snivelling shell of a human being before, well, you were absolutely right. It’s just now he’ll be slightly richer.

Barack Obama: I would be willing to bet every penny I own that the first thing Obama said when someone told him he’d won the Nobel Peace Prize for basically doing nothing was somewhere along the lines of, “Oh, for fuck’s sake.”

David Letterman: Here everyone was talking about all the fantastic sex David Letterman’s been having for years without anyone knowing, and now that’s all done with in a less than a week. You think David Letterman’s sex life is ever going to be the leading topic in American conversation ever again? Probably not likely.

The Moon People: I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess that the inhabitants of the moon weren’t terribly impressed with President Obama’s peacemaking skills when he spent all of Friday morning bombing the ever-loving shit out of them.

Bill Kristol: Probably the best reaction of the day came from the human personification of the word “douchebag” Bill Kristol, who said:

“We could note that, if the Swedes Norwegians wanted to give the Nobel Peace Prize to an American, it would have been been better to give it to Sen. John McCain for having the guts to push through the surge in Iraq, which has brought relative peace to that country.”

So yeah. John McCain should’ve won the Nobel Peace Prize because of how much he really, really loves wars. There is nothing I can possibly say to parody that.

Dick Cheney: Seriously. Is this man ever going to get his due? How many people does this guy have to torture before someone recognizes his contributions to world peace within our time? He’s like the Susan Lucci of Nobel Peace Prize awards.

Zombie Ronald Reagan: Zombie Reagan angry! Zombie Reagan tired of stupid plans! Zombie Reagan take care of Superfriends himself, and crush them! RAAARGH!

Thus the morale of our story is that the Nobel Peace Prize has made everyone deeply, deeply angry and will probably end up leading us all to World War III and the death and destruction of all human life on this planet. If that ain’t irony right there, I don’t know what could be.