There’s been a bit of speculation about what our new president-elect will do once he takes office. Sod Blog would like to highlight the most obvious first moves, in case you’ve missed the frenzied media speculation and the ensuing GOP panic (and Democratic idiocy).

When Barack Obama becomes president, the first thing he’ll do is ban all weapons everywhere ever, up to and including shotguns, assault rifles, BB guns and Supersoakers.

He will also allow unregulated abortions, but no later than three years after birth.

Millionaires will have to give everyone else all of their money so we can all quit our jobs.

Every household will have a legally illegal immigrant family to help with the chores.

He will invite all of the terrorists to the White House to meet his family’s new puppy; while there, the terrorists will politely ask for Alaska and Obama will only give it to them on the condition they slowly take the rest of the red states, too.

Islam will be the new national religion.

After everyone is given some federally-sponsored healthcare, lines for the flu shot will be at least three years long and old people will not be allowed to live beyond 50.

Actually, only the cutest, smartest, healthiest human beings will be allowed to live.

Did I miss any?