Holy crap, look at the size of this freaking baby.

I’m not trying to trick you here. This isn’t a midget swaddled up in blankets. This is an actual 19-pound newborn baby born in Indonesia. And for entertainment’s sake, the photographer was nice enough to put a regular baby down next to Gigantor so you can see just how big he really is. Please also note that the regular baby next to him is doing his able best to stay as quiet as possible, so that Mujumbo doesn’t happen to notice him and try to eat him.

By the way, I don’t know what that kid is screaming, but whatever it is, get it for him. Quickly. And the kid’s actual name is Akbar. I don’t know why, but that somehow makes this funnier.

And because I can’t get enough of this freakishly giant baby, here’s a video for your viewing pleasure. Fair warning, after I watched this, I laughed to the point of vomiting. Your personal results may vary.

Giant baby … Can’t breathe … Help …

Okay, after fifteen minutes of intense concentration, I think I can write again. So hey, you like big fat babies? Hows about a big fat cat? That work for ya?

There’s a few different things at work here. One, I really want to hug this cat. Two, that lady’s face is about what you’d expect from anyone holding up a 22-pound cat – The perfect mix of “Wow, this is one ridiculously fat cat” and “Wow, I hope this thing doesn’t try to sit on me.” The cat’s expression is also what you’d expect a 22-pound cat’s to be – Like Marlon Brando. Three, please, somebody get this cat a saddle and make the fat baby ride it. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

So here’s the mission statement that ties today’s blog post all together: Fat things are funny. Louie Anderson excluded.