This seems like as good a time as any to step up on my podium and get all pretentious.
If this is your first visit to the SodBlog, welcome and thank you for your interest in blogs on the subject of artificial turf. If it is not your first visit herre, thank you for continuing to not figure out how to make your web browser go someplace else. My name is Erik Hagen, and as the public face of this little venture, the onus occasionally falls on me to step up and give some kind of a motivational speech with which to inspire the troops. So here goes. “Good job. Keep it up.”
Inspiring, wasn’t it?
This month, the SodBlog has doubled its traffic, after having previously doubled traffic the month before. So, at this rate, by my calculations, we will have surpassed Google by sometime in 2032. Are you as excited about that indisputable fact as I am? I think I’m gonna make a cake.
If you enjoy the Sod which you’ve been reading, I would encourage you to share your opinions with us by clicking on the “Leave a Comment” link on each posting. Commenting is an exciting new feature never before seen on a website, and we’re admittedly all pretty psyched about it. Feel free to tell us just how awesome you think we are or just how big a pinheads you believe us to be. Either way, we appreciate the opportunity to take your opinions and shove them directly back into your faces. But in as nice a way as possible.
But just in case commenting isn’t sufficient in letting us know our level of greatness, you can express your appreciation in another form by clicking on any of the colorful little links in the bottom left hand corner of each post. What are they? Well, they’re on every other blog on the Internet, so we figured we should have them too. Supposedly clicking on them will submit that particular post you’d been reading to such sites as Fark, digg, StumbleUpon, and other fine website aggregators from across the Internet. I secretly suspect it will also report us to the Department of Homeland Security, but that just might be my rampant paranoia speaking. Just in case, should you suspect someone on this site of secretly being a terrorist/communist/terrorist-communist, click on every single one of those icons and we’ll just see what ends up happening.
On a related note, we’re a part of USA Today’s Blogger & Podcaster Guide. Swing by to our listing and give us the five stars we so rightfully deserve. Because if you had a blog, we’d do the same for you. Maybe. Okay, probably not. But do it anyway, just because I told you to and because I have fists. Very tiny fists.
To the long list of people who have taken the time to Register for the SodBlog by clicking on the Register link to the right, I would like to congratulate you on becoming SodBlog subscribers. SodBlog subscribers enjoy the benefits of not having to tell us what their name and email address are every time they leave a comment, reading the same posts that everyone else can read and seeing what our Administration Panel looks which. Which is all really quite nice. But as a note to those who have registered for the site, please know that hitting the Register link and providing us with a handy, dandy username and email address will not make you a SodBlog author. There’s only one way to do that, and that’s to go through me, Erik Hagen. So if you think you have enough literary talent to impress even my cold, black heart, send me an email at:
Tell me who you are and briefly describe yourself. Provide me with samples of your written work. Give me an oral history of your experiences as a writer. Briefly describe to me your theory on why reality exists. If you have any bank account numbers you’d like to share with me, please do so. Photos of childhood pets are also appreciated. Especially kittens. I just think they’re the cutest things.
And now, some gratuitous pimping. Are you like me? Do you happen to think that most things kind of suck? Well, you’re right. Almost everything does suck. But fortunately for you, there’s now a place on the Internet where you can go to bitch about it. If you haven’t noticed it yet, there’s a link in our blogroll that says Crap Sucks. That’s not just a general statement. That’s the SodBlog‘s own personal forum. (Or the SodBlog is Crap Sucks‘ personal weblog. It just kind of depends on your perspective.) So if you’ve been longing for a place where you can put forth your opinions on crap sucking without fear of reprisal, that’s the place to do it. Because quite honestly, I’m perfectly okay with your cynicism as long as it doesn’t encroach on my livelihood.
And that’s all I’ve got. Thanks for reading this long, drawn-out post which essentially said nothing of any interest whatsoever. Please do me the kindness of submitting me to Fark, and then email me your deepest, darkest secret, which I will then use to blackmail you for obscene amounts of cash. Because that’s what the SodBlog is really all about. Thank you and good night.
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