I am so freaking tired of this weather.

Those of you who are privileged enough to not live in this godforsaken frozen desolate wasteland can never truly appreciate just how lucky you are. North Dakota is a fine state, and I enjoy living here, but despite that I’m not so stupid as to ignore the truth – this state is uninhabitable. By all rights, people should not live here. In fact, I’d venture to guess that all of you who aren’t living in North Dakota are right now surprised to find out that there are people living here. To that, I can only say, sure, if you call this living.

Do you know what it’s like to step out of your house and have the heat literally sucked out of your body? This morning, the temperature was 18 degrees below zero. And that was just the air temperature. With the wind chill factored in, it was 36 degrees below zero. And it has been like this for weeks. When I start my car in the morning, I can hear it scream out in pain. Human beings are not supposed to be capable of surviving in this weather. Have you ever in your life seriously wished that you were a yak? Well, I have. In fact, I’m doing it right now. A thick coat of fur and several layers of blubber sounds pretty good right about now.

So in summary, it’s cold, and somebody please get me the hell out of this state before I die. Thank you for your time, and have a pleasant afternoon.