Here are a few of my favorite quotes:
They certainly give very strange names to diseases.
Plato
People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up.
Ogden Nash
I was thrown out of college for cheating on the metaphysics exam; I looked into the soul of the boy sitting next to me.
Woody Allen
Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?
James Thurber
Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today it’s open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.
Dave Barry
It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.
Douglas Adams
Don’t you wish there were a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There’s one marked ‘Brightness,’ but it doesn’t work.
Gallagher
