Here’s the way the Internets usually work. An amusing video will pop up on YouTube, which will then be linked to on numerous blogs and other websites. At this time, I will remain blissfully unaware, as I am usually thinking about something else at the time, usually television. Then, several months later, I will see said video for the first time, become excited to an incredibly high degree, and then post the video to my blog under the assumption that I have just discovered something exciting and new.

Which brings us to today, and this video of ALF bloopers I just discovered.

Here, in no particular order, is my thoughts on what we have just witnessed.

• Notice, if you will, the growing desperation of Willie Tanner in each of his scenes, particularly at one point where he deludes himself into believing that if he rubs his tear glands off of his eyes, he can finally forever stop crying. No more tears. If only.

• ALF is an unbearable prick to work with. If Hugh Laurie was to ever try to put a castmate’s hands on his genitals or put his head up their skirt to “talk to the baby,” they probably wouldn’t put it on the House blooper reel. But Hugh Laurie isn’t exactly a puppet, so I guess it’s all good.

• I’m writing about ALF bloopers. This might qualify as one of the low points of my life.

• Cats are surprisingly tolerant of all kinds of behavior on the ALF set, up to and including being smushed in between two slices of bread and having their heads shoved into the mouth of a large hand puppet. This is because, just like everyone on the set, the cats on ALF have given up on life.

• Would it surprise you all that much to hear that the head writer of ALF was a huge heroin addict? It shouldn’t.

• The only way this video could possibly be any more surreal is if it was in Spanish. So…

• They don’t show the young kid (I don’t remember his name. Brian? I want to say Brian.) all that often, but from what little you do see of him, I wouldn’t be that surprised to find out he grew up to be a serial killer.

• I remember, as a child, noticing that the Tanners on ALF shared the same last night as the Tanner family on Full House and wondering if the two families were related. Looking back at that now, I realize that I was an exceptionally stupid child.

• Seriously, are these not the most miserable human beings you’ve ever seen in your life? How do none of these clips end with someone desperately trying to shove a handful of aspirin down their mouth?

On that last note, I have actually spent the last ten years of my life or so believing that the actor who played Willie Tanner killed himself, but looking at his Wikipedia page, it would appear that I was mistaken. Perhaps I’m thinking of someone else. Dave Coulier, maybe?