You may not have been aware of it, since it was barely on any of the news channels or the Internet at all, but one of the most important summits of our time took place earlier this week when Sarah Palin and Donald Trump got together in New York City for dinner. And they ate exactly what you expected Donald Trump and Sarah Palin to eat together: greasy slices of pizza. And Donald Trump eats greasy pizza exactly the way you expected he would: two slices stacked on top of each other with a fork and a knife. OUTRAGE! OUTRAGE I SAY!

Look, I’m the last guy to judge anyone else’s eating habits. I used to eat my cereal by pouring the milk into the box. But seriously, just pick up the pizza. That’s how we do it here in America, cartoon rich man. It’s not going to melt your delicate stubby little fingers, I assure you.

But Trump being Trump, it’s not enough that he eats his pizza like how George Constanza eats his Snickers bars, he has to JUSTIFY IT to all of us, the poor simpletons who can’t possibly comprehend the boldness and think-outside-the-boxiveness that a visionary like Donald Trump possesses in cutting his pizza into bite-size pieces before granting it the privilege of introducing it to his golden-lined digestive system.

Yes, Donald. The issue isn’t that you eat your pizza with a fork, it’s that you eat it with a plastic fork. So to answer the question that everyone no one had, Donald Trump eats his pizza with plasticware because he doesn’t walk around with silverware all the time. Which makes him like you and me, as we also don’t walk around carrying a fork and spoon with us.

I don’t know about all the rest of you, but I feel like this upcoming election season has the potential of being the greatest thing of all time. And then when it’s over, the comet comes! Hooray!