Times are tough all around. Unemployment levels in America recently hit 7.6%, with 598,000 people losing their jobs in January alone. Economists predict this trend will get much, much worse before it gets any better. So needless to say, there are a lot of good people in this country out of work through no fault of their own.

So it’s nice to know at least one asshole is losing work just because he sucks at what he does.

You’ve probably heard of Carlos Mencia a time or two before. He’s the professional prostitute who’d be more than happy to call his own mother a beaner, just as long as someone was willing to pay him to do it. As a comedian, his major strengths are stealing other comedians’ material and reminding you roughly every three minutes of how “controversial” he is. And, as with most things in life, if someone feels the need to keep telling you over and over how [fill in the blank] they are, chances are they really aren’t all that [fill in the blank]. Thus, Carlos Mencia is about as controversial as a three-day-opened bag of chips, unless you consider the act of being unfunny to be controversial, for some reason.

That doesn’t stop Mencia from trying, however. So he’s been doing roughly the same shuck-and-jive act for the last three or four years and, like most untalented assholes in this country, becoming very rich and famous from doing it. Just ask Dane Cook. But the problem with being a flash-in-the-pan is that you do, in fact, flash in the pan. Just ask Dane Cook. And then, from there, it all goes downhill. Which is where Carlos currently finds himself, at the very bottom part of the slide right before his fat ass falls off and hits the gravel.

And he hadn’t even had a chance to make any shitty Larry the Cable Guy-style direct to DVD movies yet. Shame that.

So let’s see what’s happening with old Carlos at this particular point in his death spiral. Oh, looky here. Turns out that, while making fun of “wetbacks” is always good for a chuckle with the crackers, it doesn’t quite go over so well with actual Mexicans. Imagine that.

CARLOS Mencia’s plan to raise PTA funds for students in Santa Monica is muerto. The Comedy Central “Mind of Mencia” star was to headline a fund-raiser this month for the Edison Language Academy, a Spanish-language immersion school. But his humor offended Mexican-American activist Elias Serna. School superintendent Tim Cuneo told Post correspondent David Finnigan he dropped the show because of “issues regarding safety. There were veiled threats [of disruptions].” Serna claims Mencia isn’t in touch with his Chicano/Mexican-American heritage and needs to “see his responsibility to his Latino audience. Mencia almost entirely relies on put-downs of Mexicans.” Mencia’s flack, Howard Bragman, said: “Carlos tried to do a good thing and because of one guy’s actions, the kids ultimately suffer.”

Gotta love how Mencia’s PR flack is a big a bitch as he is. “Won’t somebody think of the children?!” Well, if all it takes to make children suffer is denying them their ability to watch bland, shitty comedy, then I guess I wholeheartedly support child abuse.

If I ever run for President, please don’t use that last statement against me.

Moving on, it isn’t just Mencia’s own culture that he’s offended with his lame material. Turns out other cultures are equally sensitive to the controversial controversy comedy stylings of Controversial Carlos Mencia. Mencia was originally invited by the Krewe of Orpheus to ride in the pre-Mardi Gras Parade of Celebrities, with other stars of equal standing like Jim Belushi and the gay guy from Mad Men. But then, at some point, some members of the Krewe happened to actually watch Mencia’s routine, and that’s when they found out that he was kind of an asshole:

First of all, I’m sorry I made you have to watch that. I saw about the first thirty seconds while posting it and now part of my soul is bleeding. Second, I really tried to find a clip that didn’t have the dumbass prefacing his ridiculously inappropriate Katrine jokes by making beaner cracks or telling you how “controversial” and “edgy” his lame material is, but would you believe that no such clip actually exists? Yeah, what a surprise.

Anyway, the Krewe of Orpheus for some reason didn’t think that jokes about poor black people drowning in New Orleans was really all that funny, so they yanked his invite and replaced him with Joan Rivers. Yup. Joan Rivers. You know, when the immediate choice to replace you as a comedian is Joan fucking Rivers, an intelligent person would take that as a reflection on their limited comedic abilities. I’m pretty sure the thought will never even occur to Mencia, however. That would require self-awareness.

As much I might enjoy the schadenfreude of Mencia’s sudden inability to hold onto a job, you know what might be even better? If he hadn’t been asked to do these appearances in the first place. Wouldn’t that be a novel concept? Wouldn’t it be fantastic if fat, unfunny, worthless pieces of shit just died in the streets penniless and unloved, like nature intended them to, instead of constantly being rewarded for their mediocrity over and over again?

Maybe it’s just all this hope and change bullshit that’s floating around all over the place these days, but I dare to dream of a future for my unborn child that is completely and totally Mencia-free. I want my daughter to know a world where no matter who you are or where you’re from, you can get ahead in this country, just as long as you’re not a big, fat, talentless load. Dream with me, America. Dream of a world without Mencia.

Come together, people. We may never get the economy fixed again, but together, at least one of us can brain Carlos Mencia with a brick. Yes, we can. Yes, we can.