The downside to watching as much television as I do is that occasionally you’ll see some of the advertisements enough times to drive you to murder. This is made worse when said advertisements include catchy jingles, meant to drive themselves into your head and remind you of the products they’re advertising while you’re shopping for wares. Which is a good strategy, except when you set said advertisements to run six to eight times in a three-hour time period, in which case your catchy advertising jingle turns into an instrument of torture. At the moment, here’s the ones currently making blood shoot of my eyeballs.

It’s funny. I really don’t miss The Fixx as much as Toyota seems to think I do. Better yet, I don’t miss hearing the same insipid chorus of a Fixx song played over and over and over again in an endless loop as much as Toyota demands that I do. The only thing I kinda miss is my mind.

S to the H to the U to the T to the T to the H to the E to the F to the U to the C to the K U P. Come on everybody, grab your bike and sing along!

Quite possibly the most horrific thing I’ve ever seen. And I once watched my parents being eaten by clowns.

Hey, look. Dell thinks that they’re Apple now. How cute.

If there’s a more apt product for the kids from High School Musical to be advertising than plain white bread, I’d be damned if I could think what it might be. And I don’t know that anyone has ever used the word “yummy” as a description for white bread. At best, I would have gone for “Mmm. Digestible!”

Jay-Z: “So, Beyonce. Did you write a song for that DirecTV commercial you’re filming tomorrow?”
Beyonce: “Oh, shit! That’s tomorrow? I forgot all about it.”
Jay-Z: “Well, you better come up with something quick.”
Beyonce: “Hmm. What do you think of this? Lemme, lemme upgrade. Upgrade. Lemme upgrade.”
Jay-Z: “Good enough. I’m gonna go roll around in a pile of money for a while.”
Beyonce: “Oooo, great concept!”

I hate them both so much.

Um…Did I just have a stroke?

I think someone needs a kick in their NuggNuts.

I can’t say for certain, but I’m pretty sure this is why we’re in a recession. This fucking commercial.

I can’t go on. The Free Credit Report song has by now burned several holes through my frontal lobe. And I never even got to the Viva Viagra ads. Oh well. Maybe next…

Goddamn you, Viagra.