Sara and I are in Bismarck, North Dakota for our good friend Kelly’s wedding. Weddings are funny things. I’ve been involved in only three in the past ten years, one of them my own, and by far, this is the most relaxed and laid back. Kelly and his lovely wife-to-be, Annette, have taken a relatively stress-free approach to the whole thing that I think is indicative of many wonderful years to come for the both of them. So many people look at their wedding as the be-all-end-all, extravagance rules, no expense spared event where everything has to be perfect. And we wonder why half of marriages end in divorce. Looking at just one day as the culmination of everything your relationship stands for is surely a harbinger of doom for many.
On Thursday night, at the joint bachelor-bachelorette party (which was another example of their laid-back approach, and a great idea, to boot), Kelly’s younger sister noticed that he was actually wearing his wedding band on his left ring finger. She was shocked. I have to admit that I was surprised, but only because I’d never seen anyone do that before their wedding. On the other hand, he was decidedly nonplussed in the face of her stern opposition to his bucking of tradition. A few days didn’t really make a difference to him. That’s a stance taken by someone who plans on wearing that ring for a long, long time. A few days in the face of years upon years really doesn’t matter much, when you get down and think about it. (But, he switched it over to his right ring finger anyway.)
Instead, they’re looking at their wedding as another step along the way. Without intentionally doing so, Sara and I did the same thing. When we got married seven years ago this month, we were fresh out of college (one day removed from our graduation, as a matter-of-fact) and simply didn’t have the time or the resources to make a big display out of it. It wasn’t really our nature, anyway. The main memory that I have from our wedding is that our pastor forgot the whole “and now you may kiss the bride” part. So, as we were walking back down the isle together, my family starting murmuring “kiss, kiss” and just as we were about to walk out of the chapel, our pastor shouted out “You two should kiss!” I’d much rather have memories like that than memories of how perfect a wedding we had and how every centerpiece on every table at the reception was just-so.
What we did without thinking, Kelly and Annette seem to be doing on purpose and I couldn’t be happier for the both of them.
The wedding itself is in a few short hours and I still have to change into my tux and find my way down to the park where the actually ceremony is going to be held. It’s a beautiful North Dakota day, too. Sunny, warm with a cool breeze and nothing but blue skies. It’s going to be a good day and, for Kelly and Annette, I hope the start of a great life together.
Yes, I realize that I have not written much here lately and I apologize. As Erik mentioned earlier, I’ve been suffering through a nasty case of thresher-induced writer’s block, but the doctor’s think that they can reattach my severed hands and get me up and writing in a matter of weeks. Dictating this post to my dog was one of the more traumatic experiences of my life, aside from the aforementioned thresher accident. Damn those careless North Dakotans, leaving threshers running in the most inappropriate places. In any case, I’ll be back with something funny soon enough.
